My boyfriend's name is Keizer. He lives in Alaska, 3,028 miles northwest of me.
Hold your gasps, really. It's not that big a deal. It's not even as hard as you think it is. And before you ask, let me explain.
"LONG DISTANCE DOES NOT WORK!"
Common Arguments: You can't be with him - where's the fun in that? What if he cheats on you? He's probably only with you because it's a no-strings-attached deal. Why bother? It's not even worth the trouble.
Sigh. Some people just don't get it. Every reason why you think it won't work are the exact reasons why they do.
First, at least I know the person I'm with. I mean, I really know him.
(AHEM - I can tell you that his favorite animal is a cat, and that he has several pet cats and dogs even though he's allergic. I can tell you that he's lived in Alaska all his life, and that his eyes are light blue. His natural hair color is brown, but he probably hasn't seen it in almost 5 years. He loves the sound of piano, and thinks the guitar is overrated. He couldn't survive without music, and I really believe that. He loves every kind of music you can imagine, but he especially loves metal. Not just that, but he can pinpoint the different genres of metal, and if you get it wrong, he WILL correct you. I can name all of the best friends he's had over the past four years. I can tell you his outlook on religion and politics. I can tell you about his family, the moments he's most ashamed of, his proudest moments, where he's been, where he wants to go. I can tell you about his hopes and dreams and plans for the future. I can tell you about all the times he's disappointed me, and even more times he's made me proud to call him my best friend. I can tell you that he's good at math, and although he's a bit of a grammar Nazi, he can't stand English class. He's not a big fan of coffee, loves probably every energy drink ever made, and doesn't like soda much. He'd rather have long hair than short. He hates Facebook and Myspace, and doesn't like talking on the phone much either. He's very indecisive, and tends to be a bit of a flirt ((but he doesn't think so!)) And just between me and him, he thinks I'm a little bit crazy, that I look better with long hair, and he'll never let me live down an incident where I accidentally stepped on my cat. And that doesn't even scratch the surface!)Looking at that, really, how many teenagers can tell you that about their "significant other?" Keizer was my best friend for almost four years before we decided to be together, and instead of just randomly saying "Hey, do you want to go out with me?", we talked about it. We'd known for a long, LONG time that we liked each other, but knowing both of our situations, we TALKED about getting together before just acting on it. That's a good thing. We decided that it would be a good situation for both of us. We know each other so well that we were able to look at all the things that may make this relationship difficult, and we decided together that we wanted to try it, and that we could both handle it. It wasn't a spur of the moment relationship, it was built on truly wanting to be together, and working hard together to make it work. So even if we're far away, we started on a better foot than most everyone else our age.
Second, relationships aren't built on only physical affections. Yes, kissing and hugging and holding hands are great. But at least this way, I know the relationship is built on the right foundation. Like I said, Keizer and I know each other extremely well. Our relationship is built purely on emotion, because we haven't seen each other even once in these four years. There was no physical contact at all to take into consideration. I can't just stay with him because I like the way it feels when he kisses me, or when he wraps his arms around me. Nope. So it's safe to say that I simply adore him as a person, not as a body, and that's the part that counts.
Let's face it, they could be cheating on you just as easily if they're in the same town as they could if they're in a different state. But looking at it, going into a long distance relationship, you know that you're taking it on faith. You know that you aren't going to get the constant reassurance of seeing them all the time, and so you build the trust that you need to make a relationship work. In person, that's a lot more difficult. You cling to the constant reassurance, and you cling to the expectation that they should be in this place at this time, and if they aren't, you automatically assume something's wrong. There's that lack of trust, and that leads to jealousy and jumping to conclusions. It just turns into a bad situation. Starting a relationship long distance forces you to start the relationship off right. If you didn't have the trust and you didn't REALLY have feeling for them, you probably wouldn't be in the relationship to begin with.
Honestly? I mean, REALLY honestly, some part of being in a long distance relationship is because it's a no-strings-attached kind of deal. Contrary to popular belief, if you're doing it right, it's kind of a low maintenance relationship. You have your separate lives, you worry about your own business, it's low stress, and that's half the reason it works. A lot of relationships ends BECAUSE of stress, BECAUSE they try to include each other in everything, BECAUSE they try to be in their partners business all the time. You HAVE to have separate lives, otherwise it will almost never work. Long distance forces you into that as well, and once you get past the initial "I wish you were here" phase, you learn to enjoy it. It's almost a drama-free relationship, and it's wonderful.
Finally, I get to tell you why it is even worth the trouble. Because I adore him. I do, I adore Keizer with every fiber of my being. I think he's funny, charming, handsome, loving, caring, and just over-all perfect for me. It's worth it because he's more compatible with me than anyone I can see here. Just because he lives far away doesn't mean he isn't everything I'm looking for. You may say it's ridiculous, it may not make sense to you, but I think it's worth it. Good things come to those who wait, and the things you really want are worth it. If it doesn't work, it doesn't work. Better still, since it's long distance, if it doesn't work, I don't have the awkward run-ins in public places where I'm forced to either pretend I don't see him or force myself to have a cordial conversation, right? Right. So really, why not? Love is love, even if it's from 3,028 miles away.
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